No one can doubt my femininity. No one can doubt my intelligence. No one can doubt my strength. If you doubt, come see me, and we will speak. Let me show you my shoe collection. Let me show you my college essays and my grades. Let me show you my scars.
I do not say this to brag or to put myself forward as an impeccable model of everything womanly. I say this to speak out against all the thousands of women who call themselves feminists.
On Tumblr there is a post going around with four photos of famous modern women explaining why they call themselves "feminists." Three of the four say it's because of "equality" -- which they neglect to define -- the fourth says that because guys don't want to look like girls, but girls want to look like guys, somehow women are less equal than men.
??? -- and for good measure: ?!?
Equality, Equality, Equality. Equality is their watchword. These women who label themselves "feminists" -- yes, they label themselves; how degrading is that? -- can't get any more creative than "equality." Why not throw a little brotherly love in there? The French did (not that it's always a good idea to follow the French, but they did get a little more expressive with their slogans). Oh, well, because referring to "brothers" means leaving "sisters" out of it. Since when has love become sexist? Are these women so insecure in their femininity that they cannot say "brotherly love"? We'll have to start calling it "brotherly-and-sisterly love," or "sisterly-and-brotherly love," or even better yet, "siblingly love." *sigh* Not only are they confused over what it means to love, but they are also terrible grammarians. I could rant all day about the awkward, incorrect, and just plain stupid "he/she" construction -- but let's save that for later.
I've never understood why women have problems using the terms "mankind," businessman," etc. Somehow these women feel they are excluded from the huMAN race or from the work world because we don't say "womankind" and "businesswoman" (or for that matter, "huwoman." How does that sound?) I always thought we said it because men are the ones who would feel insecure at being excluded from "womankind." -- all joking aside, it's just a practical method of collectively referring to all men-women-children-teens-oldpeople-youngpeople-and-everyone-in-between-who-has-ever-lived-ever-will-live-or-lives-on-this-earth-who-pertains-in-some-way-to-this-group-of-God's-creatures. But no; saying "mankind" is discriminating against women; it just shows what a low, dirty, "patriarchal" world we live in.
Good gracious me. Of course it's a patriarchal society. We speak of God as "our Father." Well, except for those who don't ... but we'll just leave that for now. That's another issue altogether -- an important one, but not one I plan to address here.
The point is not that men are somehow better than women, but that they are the ones who are supposed to support and protect women. And trust me, ladies, we want it that way. Look at the world around you: since women have become so "equal," bringing themselves (supposedly) to the level of men, how many women are now not only figuratively but also quite literally "wearing the pants" in every relationship? She is the boss at work, the boss at home, the boss in the community and at church and with friends. Men don't know what to do with themselves anymore; women have taken charge of every facet of life, so much so that they have over-burdened themselves (making them grouchy, uptight, hen-pecking cranks) and left man nothing to do but sit around and play video games. Why do you want to burden yourself with everything? Is it too humiliating for you to ask him to help carry something for you (as an example)? Are you too proud to even allow him to hold the door (figuratively and literally speaking) while you carrying in ALL the groceries? People complain about unemployment these days; do you suppose, out of mere curiosity, that there is any connection between that problem and women taking everything upon themselves in every walk of life? (Just a thought. I've honestly no idea that there is a connection -- but it would be interesting to research).
As for ways in which men are (generally/supposedly) superior, why oh why would any woman want to be like that? Physically equal? Sorry, biology has proven that anthropomorphically incorrect. And frankly, women wrestlers/weightlifters/etc. are some the ugliest creatures I have ever seen. Emotionally? Sweetie, the only difference is that men hide their feelings, while women burst out blubbering in front of the whole world. Trust me, men are just as sensitive, needy, emotionally unstable as any of us; and the thing is, we're supposed to work together, men and women, to support and help each other in our times of need.
And this "equality" thing: since when do women want to be equal to men? In some ways, women are far superior to men. It's not sexist; it's just true. For one, women (generally) have an infinitely superior capacity for common sense. I think even my own life is a constant proof of that. For another, women (again, I generalize) are much better at connecting with other people, understanding other people, being able to help others. Men often miss the nuances of social interaction; they can become very easily confused about many things in life. This doesn't mean that women are "better" or "more equal" or whatever. It just means they are "different." And "different" is GOOD. Right? This is a world of diversity and self-expression; being feminine should not be so politically incorrect nowadays. Women, please, WANT to be different from men. You have been given so many beautiful gifts and abilities and talents, which men have not been given -- they have been given other gifts, other abilities, other talents. Why must we always want something we don't have? Why must we always be jealously searching to see what everyone else has? Why can we not thank God for what He, in His infinite wisdom, has given us?
Women used to know their position in society. -- feminists across the universe will cry out and point to this and burn me in effigy as a groveling, servile piece of chattel of some man, so let me hasten to explain. Women used to understand their position in society, in the home, in the community, as one of absolute importance. The woman's position in the home is the heart. She is the heart of the family, through which all life-supporting blood flows. The man is the brain, the woman is the heart. This does not mean that the woman is an unintelligent slob, fit only to cook and clean; but neither does this mean that the man is worthless once he leaves the office, and you should leave him to sit in front of the television. Ha ha, NO. This means a balance of complementary skills to make everything work in harmony. This means knowing thyself: recognizing others' abilities, knowing your own abilities, and giving and taking where necessary. No one person can give all or take all; each should exercise his own talents in the areas for which he is best suited. If you have problems with the grammar of this sentence, go back and read five paragraphs up again.
This isn't a rant against pants -- I wear pants. This isn't a rant against women in the workforce -- please God, in three months, I will be in that workforce. This isn't a rant against women's education -- good gracious me, I'm studying at one of the most academically-challenging colleges in the country. This is a rant against women who think they are degraded by being women and acting like women. This is a cry to all those women: "Why, why on earth, why do you think your idea of 'equality' with men will make you a better woman?"
Stop standing up for yourself all the time; no one is questioning your worth or your abilities. Sit down and chill out. Be strong. Be intelligent. Be feminine. All are equal in the eyes of God; stop looking to men as the epitome of humanity. Learn to express brotherly love to all mankind. Be yourself; be a woman.
Well said, Catherine, well said!
ReplyDeleteThanks. I don't know if everyone would agree with you ... but I felt it had to be said. I wonder if I came off too strongly, or if I pushed too hard in the wrong direction, but I think people need to really consider the situation. I only hope I did more good than harm.
ReplyDeleteIn my experience, most cases like these are hopeless (humanly speaking). People believe what the media have been telling them for countless years, and they just won't use their own brains. I promised myself to never, ever start discussing issues like this on Tumblr again. People tend to get aggressive and offensive. Trust me, I've learnt it the hard way.
ReplyDeleteCatherine, this is great! You are a REAL feminist (and feminine) apologist!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement :) Yes, my consulting detective, I think I'll avoid such confrontation in the future -- it's an important issue, but not exactly the best medium for such discussions, I think. Oh well. Good learning experience :)
ReplyDeleteI think its good to discuss minus the agressive, btw.. I mean, we're not here to talk to ourselves are we? Or you might as well write your blog in a word document and save to file.
ReplyDeleteIts really simplistic and petty..focusing on political correctness in definitions and phrases rather than the real reason feminism exists. Most feminists are not radical feminists and the word feminism is such a broad range of theories. Also equality is misinterpreted here as equality as in women = men in the sense that a woman feels they have to prove themselves equal to men to feel validated in society when that is the wrong concept entirely..equality means that rights of women must have the same level of choice and rights as men, and equal pay for equal work concepts.
ReplyDeleteDear Oracle,
ReplyDeleteMy apologies for my pettiness and simplicity. I'm afraid it's one of my (many) shortcomings. I neither defined my terms properly nor set out an orderly method of addressing the topic. In an ideal world, I would have spent ten lifetimes turning this one post into a "Summa Mores," so to speak. I wrote in the heat of the moment, as I was angry and upset; in the heat of my anger, I wrote, and by writing, made many people angry. For that, I am sorry. I still stand by my words, however ... but the problem is, these words lack both context and tone, so it's hard to understand exactly what I mean and how I mean it (I'm afraid that's my fault, mea culpa; I express myself rather imprecisely -- as you noticed, simplistically and pettily). I don't want to be aggressive, but I feel that there are too many people speaking out -- often quite aggressively -- from the other point of view, and too few standing where I stand. I wanted to take a stand for what I believe in; somehow, though, that freedom is allowable only to those who adhere to political correctness. I believe the term "feminism" is much too broad a term to be easily pigeon-holed or defined (and so, in attempting to define it, I bit off more than I could chew); I treated the term as I understand it, which is a legitimate understanding of it (at least in the relativistic world, would you not agree?), though you may not interpret it in that way.
Again, my apologies for failing to express myself exactly. Next time I attempt any apologetics, I will be more cautious in my wording ... or perhaps, as you suggest, I will merely vent to Microsoft Word.
Yes, in a relativistic world, you would be right and much is relative..but at the same time, I think it would benefit you to read more about feminism and contrast where we would have been without it. For example you wouldnt be able to write this post and express yourself this way - which I support, but I just don't agree with.
ReplyDeleteI dont see anyone who's been agressive so far here and if you mean that I am - then you've misread my post.
You don't need to apologise so much, especially if you're still sticking to your point because that makes no sense. But where you mention political correctness and wording - its not the wording I found fault with but the concepts which you have attached to those words. You could have used the same wording but with a different concept such as the word 'equality'..in no feminist theory does equality mean proving yourself equal to men as you postulate. I think you have a misunderstanding of feminism which would be alleviated if you read a bit more feminist work, considered why we even have a need for CEDAW (Convention against the Elimination of all forms of Discrimination Against Women) and realised that where you are now is because of a multitude of things and your rights (which I don't know if you appreciate or not?) are due to feminists..not political correctness, not seeking to prove ourselves to men and definitely not through just being angry without enough information.
I understand angry posts though, and sometimes they're great! But I do urge that when you post angry things like this and someone like me responds (a random), taking you seriously but also understanding why you might have these ideas, well I think you should ask why I think this and read a bit more either to solidify your own view or change it..because there are too many people making their mind up about feminism prematurely..and when women do it, it seems so hypocritical. Do you not like your rights? Would you not want to vote? Don't you want to choose to stay at home rather than be forced to, or choose a career that you want to pursue? Or do you think your *only* goal in life is to be a homemaker and mother? Because that is what feminism is against at its core.
Cheers for replying :)
Dear Oracle,
ReplyDeleteI find that although I may agree with some of the premises of the feminist movement (such as I understand them) e.g., women are equally human as men, with equal rights to life, liberty, property; the right to work; the right to vote; etc., I believe these theories, once put into practice, have been taken too far. Women might have begun wanting to work with their husbands, but now they want to work against them. Women want to "own" their own bodies and have the right to act as they choose, but then they insist that their unborn children are not a part of them. As I see it, what began as a human-rights movement has become merely an excuse for women to distance themselves from everything that makes them women.
My (non-relativist) principles are based on my Faith, and will therefore not change; my definition/concept of feminism is based mostly on observation, and I am perfectly willing to concede points that coincide with both. I appreciate your taking the time to debate these points with me, but it is difficult to do so without knowing where you stand on these issues. Would you care to define such terms as feminism and equality, so I can better understand your position on the matter? What do you understand to be a woman's position in society, compared to that of a man? Perhaps you could suggest some reading materials that align with your views?
God bless!