Wanted: A Muse

Willing to work days, especially weekends. Willing to put up with regular hours, as I need my sleep during the night, but also available for spontaneous writing fits at any given moment. Willing to support emotionally, especially during times of depression and writer's block. Willing to support mentally when unhinged and frantically writing. Must understand love, of all sorts, and human nature, in its various forms. Must be willing to express truthful options on death, suffering, time, happiness, eternity, and Calvinball.

Must understand obscure references to obscure sources. Must quote obscure references to obscure sources as second nature. Must have many quirks.

Must be fluent in all things Anglophile, including but not limited to: tea, accents, green rolling landscapes, and the eternal spitting of rain. Must be well versed in the following authors: Austen, Eliot, Doyle, Carroll, Tolkien, Chesterton, and Sayers. Must be familiar with film versions of the aforementioned authors' works. Preferably well versed in a variety of other authors as well.

My must will enjoy varied and regular travel, often to strange and exotic locations. Such travel may include but will nto be limited to: Oxford, Gallifrey, the Medusa Cascade, Stonehenge, Oxford, Florence, Oxford, London, the Rabbit Hole, Piccadilly Circus, Oxford, the ends of the universe, Oxford, and Oxford. Must be willing to leave heart in Oxford, so as to assure an eventual return.

My muse will constantly push me to write, as I need constant pushing. Must be able to give constant encouragement along with blunt (if sometimes harsh) truth, preferably simultaneously.

Credentials not required, but welcome if available. Must be willing to relocate to the Growlery, as I am most definitely not moving anywhere else. Those allergic to white tigers will be automatically disqualified.

Please submit all applications here, at any time, in any manner. My writing is waiting for your inspiration.